I’ve never really enjoyed poetry, ‘cause i haven’t the mind to understand it.
That was true, at least, until I found a few Dirty limericks that made me laugh harder than Jim Carrey.
For those of you who have no idea what a limerick is, here’s the clue: I’s a short poem that follows a strict metric (3-3-2-2-3)…
don’t worry, I didn’t understand that either… perhaps an example is in order?
WARNING! DIRTY LIMERICKS AHEAD! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!
NO KIDS ALLOWED!… NO KID SWALLOWED? ERR…
BEWARE OF THE GRINCH!
There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil
--
There once was a man Robin Hood
Who lived in a Knottingham wood
He learned how to f**k
from old Friar Tuck
And made Marion whenever he could
--
On the moors Kelly walked in a daze
There she'd bark at the moon and the haze
Still her friends weren't concerned
For by now they had learned
Once a month she would go through this phase.
(author's note to the ladies: "She was a
werewolf. Now is it funny?")
--
There once was a man from Madrass
Whose balls were made out of brass
When he'd bang 'em together
They'd play stormy weather
And lightning would shoot out of his ass
--
There once was a man from East Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save her some trouble
He folded it double
And instead of coming...he went
--
A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
"Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?"
"Of course not," said the hare,
"It's really quite rare!"
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
--
Poor damn rabbit.
